I Asked 5 Parents What Made Them Want Me as Their Au Pair (Careful with #4!)

I used to think to get chosen by the right family, I needed to have:

• The perfect profile

• Perfect references

• No backbone

After a few placements, I started to realize something. While I did have a great background, it wasn’t perfection that made parents choose me: it was connection. 

So I went back and asked five of my past host families what actually made them reach out, respond, and offer me the role.

Their answers surprised me.

Here’s what they said.

Parent 1: “Your profile made you seem like someone I actually wanted around.”

Before we even spoke, we connected over hiking and the gym.

She didn’t just look at my childcare experience, she actually noticed who I was outside of it.

I realized that she didn’t just need help with the kids. She needed someone she enjoyed being around.

We went to the gym together. Took the kids hiking. Stayed up way too late laughing.

I won’t like, not every single placement will turn into a friendship like that. But this experience proves something important:

Parents aren’t just hiring childcare!

They’re inviting someone into their home. Which means who you are and how you connect with people matters. 

Parent 2: “You had the confidence to disagree. It felt like a partnership.”

At the beginning of my au pair journey, I thought being agreeable was the goal. I’m not naturally a people pleaser, so I knew it would soon turn into resentment if I didn’t change my approach.

During our first interview, they explained a parenting style that didn’t fully align with how I like to work with kids. I respectfully told them that while I valued their flexibility, I personally thrive with more structure. I was gentle, but I suggested a few ways we could blend our approaches.

They later told me THAT was the moment they knew.

Not because I agreed.

But because I was thoughtful, self-aware, and willing to communicate honestly.

Families don’t want a “yes” person.

They want someone who can think for themself, adapt, and collaborate. Maybe someone to teach them a thing or two. 

(This is delicate, yes — and it’s something I coach clients through carefully. Confidence without tact can backfire. But done well, it builds trust instantly. If you want some help navigating difficult conversations like these, send me a message!) 

Parent 3: “You asked the right questions.”

I came to our first call prepared.

Not just hours and duties, but questions about values, parenting style, and how I could bond with their kids.

They said no one else had asked those things. They’re used to the normal questions, but not mine. 

When they followed up later, I responded quickly and kept momentum going. It felt like a partnership from the beginning.

Families notice effort, intention and creativity. Lame interviews get you lame contracts. 

I’ve got questions designed to complement each family's unique vibe in my Notion Application Tracker. Just select the vibe, and get the perfect questions. 

Parent 4: “You already had a life.”

This one stuck with me, and now I always make a point to mention it. 

They told me they didn’t want to babysit an adult, or take on a 3rd child. 

What stood out was that I had lived on my own. I could cook, manage my time, and didn’t need constant guidance.

I had hobbies. Plans. Independence.

You don’t have to live alone to demonstrate that, but families feel reassured when you show you can take care of yourself.

You’re there to make their life easier, not add another responsibility. 

Parent 5: “You were honest about your weaknesses.”

Instead of giving a fake “weakness” in the interview, I told them something real:

When multiple children are screaming at once, I can get overstimulated (who can relate?!)

But I also told them how I handle it, which is KEY. 

They appreciated the honesty, and were comforted by the fact that even for the bad moments, I had a plan. 

When you live in someone’s home, your weaknesses will show eventually, so there’s no use pretending you’re perfect. 

And anyways: families don’t want perfection.

They want someone self-aware and willing to grow. 

Notice a pattern?

While yes, each parent noticed something different, every comment follows the same theme: honesty, self-awareness, and the fact that I was intentional about how I presented myself. 

Families don’t always pick the most impressive on-paper candidate. They pick the person they think will best fit into their life. 

Show up with confidence, curiosity, and courage to show the real you.